imwithjonas's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Popcorn Cakes for Dinner Popcorn Cakes for DinnerIt's summer, and the world is revolving around weight more than ever. This is never a good time for me. I was hangin' in Wally World today. I roamed around the registers checking out the tabloids. One of them, and I really don't remember or care which, had a big cover story on random stars' eating disorders. Admittedly, Kirstie Alley has morphed into some kind of large, jiggley monster. Oprah does have her ups and downs. Lara Flynn Boyle is an animated skeleton of sorts, and Kelly Ripa stays on the unhealthy side of thin. Here's my problem. Lisa Marie Presley isn't one of my favorite people, and I normally wouldn't be offended by any tabloid smut printed about her. But the poor girl is being splashed across the cover of some pointless trash because she weighs 150lbs. Granted, at 5'3" that’s a teensy bit on the pudgy side, but c'mon now folks. It's not that bad. The story said something about her "super-sized" tops and generally implied that she was unbelievably hideous. Get over it people! 150lbs is not that atrocious! The Calista Flockharts and Lara Flynn Boyles of the world have done some serious damage. To be an attractive woman, you have to be all stabbity bones. Have I mentioned my collar bone rule before? Allow me to do so now, for the record. If your collar bones cast shadows, YOU'RE TOO DAMN THIN. Bones can cause a good deal of pain to both yourself and others! They're meant to be padded in some amount of flesh! I understand that my own bones are probably more buried than padded, and I know I'm not particularly attractive on that basis. But I'm about sick of all these plastic-filled, Botox injected, undead hookers traipsing around and luring away the men. For that matter, what the hell is wrong with all the guys in the world? I can understand not being attracted to someone who is truly, atrociously fat. I really don't understand this whole stick-woman obsession. Consider your personal safety! You could put your eye out on these girls' elbows! It's not safe! Ugh. I give up. I suppose everything will work out for me anyway, since I've apparently picked up anorexia. It's not on purpose, and I can quit anytime. Anytime that I have money, that is. You might have thought I was joking about my status as completely broke, but I wasn't playing. I have no money. I have some Ramen, but I'm pretty sick of it. I eat when people buy me food, or when they force me to eat whatever they have lying around. Surprisingly, my work at Local Family Restaurant (LFR, for future reference) has kept my appetite in check rather than increasing it. I'd best be losing weight is all I'm saying. I might manage to stay in University Town! I've at least managed to not break down into some wailing mass of tears. I've kept the weeping and wailing to an acceptable minimum. My parents all think I'm being ridiculous. My step-father went so far as to say "I thought you were smarter than this." This refers to my desperate attempts to live here rather than there. That phrase is probably the one I most feared, but it had a markedly low impact on my general emotional state. I was impressed by my general composure. I've also been in a good mood lately. It's awesome. I hated all that distraught crap. I like it when I can make people laugh. Granted, people often laugh at painful instances of Megan falling, but I like the times when I'm generally hilarious and people laugh because of that. The falling makes me less happy. I do like the thinking place I found. It's a cozy rock under a big fancy lighted tower, all located on prime river-side property. It’s pretty nifty. But I intend to be less morose while thinking there. Everything is looking up, for now, so I should be able to manage that. Everything is smiles and daisies today. I even felt a pang of sympathy for the legless man with the sign that said "Smile, God loves you. Help if you can." He's been sitting out in front of Wally World that past few days. I personally think it's sad that I've been to Wally World each of the past few days, and can therefore vouch for the legless man's whereabouts. Maybe I should mention that, in case he needs an alibi in the near future. Then I can rest easy in the knowledge that I've helped someone less fortunate than me. Also, forgive me for breaking my new schedule so soon. I just kind of forgot. Oops. 9:55 p.m. - May 23, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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