imwithjonas's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ice Cream and Sex Mmmm...Ice Cream.“When I create my own universe, people are going to grow and learn by eating ice cream and having a lot of sex.” – Vincent Gray (Dan Futterman), Judging Amy I’m completely out of the loop on the current season of Judging Amy. But she had a big sham wedding tonight. She called it off. More importantly, her cutie brother Vincent came back for a day. I’d like to personally thank the writer that threw that line in there. It was cute. It didn’t do much for the show, but in a deep and meaningful sense, it kind of sums up my philosophy. Well, maybe that’s a lie. My actual philosophy is “Things get better. Or they go away. Either way, life moves on.” But in a world as described by Vincent, things wouldn’t have to get better. Things would be better. Always. What’s better than ice cream? I would assume sex. What else could any living, breathing, mildly self-centered man or woman ask for? That’s really about all I had to say, but I think I’m going to somehow turn this into a feature length entry. If life were all about ice cream and sex, I wouldn’t have spent the weekend in some kind of emotional shell shock. I would have had some Oatmeal Cookie Chunk and some cute boy and been absolutely peachy. Life would have been better. But when you look at it, remembering my actual philosophy would have been pretty damn helpful, too. Alice once said, "I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it." Things were bad for a few days. I was worried about my mom; I was sick; I was lonely; I was in a generally self-deprecating mood. I was afraid my mom might have cancer. One short, simple phone call and that went away. I was sick. I technically still am, but I’m getting better. I’ll keep getting better. It’s what happens. I was lonely. Then I remembered my loneliness was partially made up. I remembered that I don’t have to be lonely, because I’m really not alone. Loneliness – went away. Ah, self-deprecation. It always gets better. It sometimes gets worse along the way, but the upswings are what matter. The generally accepted fact is that I’m way too down on myself and stress out too much and worry about retarded things. The truth is I’m appropriately down on myself, not really stressed out enough, and probably retarded. (And this is on one of the good days.) I wish I had developed this philosophy earlier in life. In the olden days I was one of those people that listened to a lot of people’s bitchy whining. I even considered being a psychiatrist. Really, don’t laugh. I’m sure I would have killed myself eventually, but that’s not the point. I should have just told people that things get better or go away. It’s true, and it’s all that really matters in life. I suppose my philosophy has a down side, too. Everything gets better or goes away. If things can’t get any better, then they must go away, right? Well, to some extent that’s true. Take Xavier and me. We were the best friends imaginable. We swore we would never be like all those other friends that wind up not talking to each other after high school. We seem to have been lying to ourselves. Things go away. But again with the happiness, things get better. I’ve got Pat now. Xavier either wasn’t the best friend imaginable, or my imagination was broken. Things are fantastic right now. And they can still be even better, I’m sure. Hopefully this is one of the things that doesn’t go away for a long time. At one of our deaths would be ok with me, I suppose. Health-wise I feel absolutely craptastic right now, but I’m in a beautiful place mentally. I haven’t felt this lucid and stable in a long while. I kind of missed it. I just hope all the dizziness and seeing spots from this fangorious illness go away soon. I don’t like the prospect of fainting. I suppose it was improper of me to inflict that trash on the masses, but the masses don't so much know I exist, so it's ok. I mostly just wanted to point out the nifty quote. I loved it. Especially coming from Dan Futterman. But that's beside the point. Why are so many people named Dan attractive, whether for various skills or general good looks? My uncle would be a definite exception. Ew. Short, cross-eyed, less than intelligent, and rather pointedly lame. I'm quitting. This is getting ridiculous. I plan on denying this entry ever happened. I'm delirious from fever. Good day. 2:30 a.m. - April 14, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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