imwithjonas's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Exciting Changes, Coming Soon Exciting Changes, Coming Soon"When I was around 8, I asked my mother what a homosexual was. (She had called our neighbor one.) She told me that "homo" meant "same" and "sexual" meant "sex." So I thought, "Oh my god! I am a homosexual because I touch myself! This is awful! I am going to hell!" A year later, I asked my mother how homosexuals had sex with each other. She said, "Through their rectum." But she must have scratched her nose while she said it, because I thought she was saying that her nostril was the rectum. Since I had NO CLUE what a rectum really was, I was horrified once again. "Oh my god!" I thought. "That must hurt like hell!" So for years I thought that gay men were weird and disgusting because they fucked each other's noses. I was so relieved when I realized they were buttfuckers and not nosefuckers. I was also relieved to know that I was a homosexual not because I touch myself, but because I like to touch other women." - No Objects Shall Enter (from the latest Savage Love) I thought I’d kick things off with a little humor, you know, to make up for last time. Life is a good thing. It might kick you around every once in a while, but at least it gets a little better. There’s a lot to be said about karma. At the moment, I have no idea where I stand on religion. But I do believe that people’s actions affect the things that happen to them in life. I think it’s important to remember that. The Golden Rule, no matter what its basis, is a good one to live by. The site is about to undergo some changes. I’m canning that whole poetry idea, but I’m going to go back through this bitch and fix all the poems that are in it. Also, I’d like to apologize for the link color. My mommy pointed out that it’s pretty illegible. On my laptop, it’s not so much. Stupid LCD screen. I’m also going to make a profile page that matches the site, as opposed to the standard Diaryland thingy. And I’ve gotta figure out a way to make a nifty little links thing. I can’t decide if I just want to make a sidebar for them, or if I’ll go all out with an entire page. So many links, so little time. So, that’s what I’m working on. Right now. Well, I will be as soon as I post this. Which I’ll do now. Good day. 8:03 p.m. - September 04, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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